Just Five Adults...
The Support of Five Adults
Have you wondered what makes children thrive? If you google this topic (as I did) you will find a plethora of theories on if children become successful adults or not. Part of the problem with this topic is we all have different definitions for these words. Let’s take successful for example. Many will think successful to mean being rich and powerful. That is not how I view the term. To me, successful is when you are a healthy, contributing member of society. For some this also means being able to live independently. If there are certain needs that prevent living independently you can still contribute to society. It does mean giving and working, whether that is paid work or not.
It has long been debated what can we do to make sure this happens for our children. The nature versus nurture has been discussed at length and there have been many other theories. One I was suggested recently is Derek Peterson’s “Napkin Talk”. This is a YouTube video and I have shared the link at the bottom. There is probably a lengthier version of this information. In fact, I am pretty sure Derek does trainings on this topic, but I found even the nine-minute video fascinating. Basically, his theory is if each child has five quality relationships with adults in their lives who are pouring into them, they can thrive. This combination can vary to include parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, family friends, coaches, youth group leaders, teachers, etc. It’s not important their title, but their relationship with the child and how much support, encouragement, and wisdom they are pushing their way.
So, as I am sure you are doing, I started thinking about my upbringing and if I had five. It turns out I had more than five. I had bonus adults in my life! Then I think to the children I sometimes speak with who are struggling and if they have five. Usually, they do not. A lot of them are holding strong with one or two or three. This goes back to the old saying that it takes a village to raise a child. If this theory holds true you could have the two best parents on the planet, but you also need other adults pouring into you. What would our world look like if every child had at least five and how do we get there? I don’t have answers, but I am interested in the journey. I now think about this when I am meeting with kids and when the opportunity arises, I try to point kids in a direction to add these amazing adults into their lives.