Digital Safety

Digital Safety for Kids

It seems like it happened overnight. We gave our 7 year old her very own tablet for her birthday. Suddenly, she’s herding cats on Minecraft (because cats are good for some reason?) I thought I would be able to ease her into the digital world a little more slowly, but she has bigger plans. Something involving a pickaxe and mining emeralds.

I may not know everything about Minecraft, but I do know what steps I need to take to keep my child safe online. Her tablet came with a “Device Contract” that outlined some basic rules about using her new tablet. Now, what works for our family may not work for every family. These are just some tips to help you think through digital safety rules for your own family. One rule we have is that any device with internet access should be used in an area that can be can easily supervised. This could be in common areas of the house or even in a bedroom as long as the door stays open. It’s important to remember that devices introduce the potential for youth to communicate with someone one-on-one. If you don’t allow your teen to be in their room with their boyfriend - or a total stranger - with the door closed, that same rule should be applied to online interactions with people, right? I recommend that families implement a “device bedtime” when all devices are put away for the night, preferably in a common area or place the child cannot easily access through the night. Other options to limit their device usage during the night when you cannot supervise are parental controls that allow you to lock the device between certain hours or turning off the wi-fi at night (if the device does not have its own data plan.) Be aware of what apps your child is using. You can have a rule that your child cannot install apps without your permission, and this is very easy to enforce with certain parental controls. Even without parental controls though, you should receive notification of app downloads if the device is linked to your account. Or – if all else fails - check your child’s device at the end of the night. Google apps your child is using so you can get a general idea of what the app is commonly used for, if the app has private chat or file sharing capabilities, and if there are any concerns about the app. Figure out how to adjust privacy settings, disable chat features, block people, and report user to app developers or platform moderators. Talk to your child about the dangers of sharing personal information like their name, where they go to school, or places they like to go and turn off the location services on apps. Talk to them about not sharing anyone else’s personal information or images. Set rules about taking revealing pictures or videos of themselves or others – even if they don’t plan to share them – and explain that they have very little control over how those images are distributed or used if they are shared, even privately. Talk to them about cyberbullying and online grooming. Use “what-if” scenarios and help them think through those situations. For older youth, talk to them about sextortion which is someone threatening to distribute private or sensitive information about you or someone else if you don’t provide them with sexual pictures, videos, money, or agree to meet them. For more information or tools to help you have these conversations, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children offers a great resource called NetSmartz to teach kids about online safety. And don’t worry if you are not a tech genius or if you don’t cover every possible scenario. The more important thing is that you are having an ongoing conversation with your child about online safety rather than assuming they’ll know how to stay safe online.

Finally, we need to stop punishing our kids when someone else behaves inappropriately online. We may have the knee-jerk reaction to eliminate the threat as quickly as possible – taking the device away or prohibiting an app. That only creates an incentive for your child to NOT tell you when someone is inappropriate or they are being victimized. And taking away my child’s device or access to an app is not going to protect all the other kids that may become a target.

If you suspect online exploitation or abuse of a child, report to the CyberTipline by calling 1-800-843-5678 or by visiting www.cybertipline.org.